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The Big Bang Theory

When I hear someone say "The Big Bang Theory," my mind goes to a couple of places...

1) The scientific one which I am not a fan of other than how it may have appeared to look according to google images...matter unorganized.

big bang theory n. A cosmological theory holding that the universe originated approximately 20 billion years ago from the violent explosion of a very small agglomeration of matter of extremely high density and temperature.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published byHoughton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

(from a religious point of view, it looks like unorganized matter which the creator may have used???)

2) Then there is the big bang theory television sitcom...BAZINGA which I am more than a fan of for a variety of reasons:

Leonard, Raj, Howard...

Sheldon and "Penny knock knock, Penny knock knock, Penny knock knock." I adore each character and the personalities they possess, but that is a whole different entry.

3) The big bang in which I am referring to was the one that made it's debut in the late eighties, early ninties atop some young woman's head. It was an artform that required tools...hot curling iron, hair comb and mass amounts of hairspray. It was so difficult for my type of hair (a quantity of soft, fine, stick straight hair. The perm did not help my big bang matter either other than it became the matter unorganized mentioned in the first big bang theory) that my big bang fell forward covering the upper half of my face. The big bang also became known as "West Valley" or "Valley Girl"look. It is my opinion that much of the damage to the ozone layer was due to achieving this desired look. Reflecting causes me to accept the belief that our minds can play tricks on us. How in the world did I ever envy this wall of bangs, and yet, envy I did. New styles come and new styles go. Thankfully this one went, but there were some that held onto these bangs like they were going out of style. (They were.)

(The above photos were pulled off google images. I needed a picture to help readers understand the humor in this story.)

I was a 6th grade educator at the time. Sixth grade is a particularly difficult time for most. The 6th grade human body is transforming the child to an adolescent. The emotional state wants to be independently grown up while still clinging to the little girl depending on parents to care for her. Cliques are formed. The opposite sex has somehow lost the cooties to the flirties. The appearance becomes top priority during the body's low priority development of acne, body hair, odor, voice change etc. Unfortunately, these changes are more visible in young women than in young men. I remember the completely undescribable awkwardness that I felt in my 6th-8th grade years!

One young woman approached me in tears. She was beside herself and I could not understand why, She was smart, adorable, well groomed, popular, always dressed fashionably and so I asked where those tears were coming from. Apparently, the other girls in her circle of friends had given her the boot because she had worn her hair the same way two days in a row. Some may question the reality of something that seems to be so trivial, but I lived this shame in the area of clothing I selected.

(Briefly, as Jr High and High School Students, my circle of friends scheduled the week to be Monday and Wednesday were "nice pants day." Tuesday and Thursday were "dress day." Friday was "levi's day." This was the rule that we fervently abided by. Once in a while there would be an extra curricular activity that would require a switch in apparel. The person would then let the others know of the change in the schedule. If per chance the word did not get around, it was grounds for the silent treatment from the one left out of the loop and utter terror for the others, "Oh crap...didn't you tell her?"
"I thouhgt you were going to tell her..." It was serious and usually meant conjuring up the lamest excuses as to why the one, was not in form.)

The pressures for girls was intense. Now take that and multiply it by 5,000 if you are the new girl, you are shy, and you have developed into a young woman before the rest of your peers.

I had been notified that a new family had moved into the school boundaries. The mother and two girls came to introduce themselves to me. One girl looked too small for the 6th grade and the other looked to be at least sixteen years old, so I let mom take the lead. The shallowness in me was looking at the one woman's perfectly mastered tall, straight up bangs. The profile view barely revealed one row of hair. I could see that this girl would rather be anywhere other than here. My heart felt compassion for her and I hoped that the upcoming experience in her new school would be a positive one. The 16 year old look alike was really 12 years old and I was the one that would be the master of creating a positive and safe environment for her. I found a seat for her. The class welcomed her and then we went about business. I hoped the new awkwardness would fade for all of us.

There were a few boys that endeared me with their wit and charm. One young boy was behind the new girl. We were having an intense math discussion and I was put out that he was not paying attention to me, so I called on him to answer the question. Maybe I could redirect his attention. "Can you tell me if this is the correct answer?" He shrugged his shoulder apathetically. That bothered me even more and so I took it upon myself to scold him for not having his eyes and attention on me. In a very serious and somber manner he replied, "I am sorry Miss Hart, but I can't see anything over (blah blah's) tall bangs."
A range of emotions spiraled through my body...devastation and complete embarrassment for our new student, shocked at his response, mystified at what my own response would be, stifled laughter at his truth.( I have had to move seats in a movie theatre before because of the overpermed hair of a patron that sat down in front of me.) As I continued to look at his facial expression, I felt laughter rushing up my throat, like lava spewing out of a volcano, like soap suds growing out of my washing machine. I turned towards the board and started erasing for fear I would not be able to fight the smile that prefaces the unbearable laughter.

Then with a firm tone, still facing the board, I said, "THEN MOVE!" I hoped with all my might that the sound of my voice and the words I spoke would change the grimace on my face. I waited for the awkward moment to pass. I held still until I had regained complete composure. I remained nose to the chalkboard (I think the awkward moment was now with Miss Hart--"what the heck is she doing?" kind of thing) until I felt safe to face my students and resume math which felt about an hour in humiliation's time frame. "Now class...let me show how to arrive at the correct answer..."

Once in a great while, I will come across a "big bang moment." With a smile on my face, I will think back to the wonderful moments and memories I had with these children. There are other moments when I look back on old photos and wonder what descriptive phrases went through the minds of others when they observed the hairdo I was sporting...