It was true. My hands were like delicate jewels. It made all the difference in how I pointed to the "exits" and the "lighting strip" in the event of an emergency. Once in a while, a nail would break, lift, or pop off altogether and so, it was wise to carry fingernail adhesive in my pocket for a quick repair.
One time while serving up drinks, my nail popped off. I could not see where it landed. I could feel my temperature rise with the thought that it may have ended up in someone's drink. A fingernail floating in someone's drink could be a possible law suit, a letter in your file, or an intense scolding at the least. It would not be hard to determine the hand in which the nail originated. All one would have to do is make a hand check to see which hand was missing a nail or match the color of the polish. It was hard to concentrate on the job at hand ( forgive the pun ) due to my nervousness. I pressed on trying to hide the finger minus a nail. Someone ordered a drink requiring a lime. There in the section of limes was my bright red missing nail. Quickly, I retrieved the nail and placed it in my pocket to be repaired at a later time. Whoosh!!!
It just so happened that my left contact lens was acting up. It would be a few weeks before I would be able to get into the eye doctor to have it replaced. If I would put a few eye drops in my eyes to moisten them, I could see more clearly and it certainly bought me some time before my next eye appointment. I kept the eye drops in my pocket for quick relief.
"will the real eye drops step forward?" "In my EYES, clearly an easy mistake to make"
I was at home awaiting a call from "Scheduling," ( a very stressful part of my day.) I was having some trouble seeing, so I reached into my pocket for drops to moisten my eyes. I put a few drops in and in an instant I knew something had gone terribly wrong. It scratched, it stung, it burned, it stuck . . . I looked at the drops with my right eye, the good eye. By accident, I had grabbed the wrong bottle. Instead of eye drops, I had put fingernail glue into my eye. It makes me laugh now, but at the time it was serious and frightening.
"Scheduling" excused me so that I might get the emergency assistance from the eye doctor. Having the glue removed was a revolting experience. The tool to scrape plaque off your teeth was similar to the instrument used to scrape the glue off from under my eyelid. (It was a catch 22, my contact lens had protected my retina and cornea, but if I did not have contacts, there would have been no need for the moistening drops. My eye was tender, but I survived the ordeal. One would think that would be the end of fake nails.
Years later, I put nails on by myself...the drugstore kind. It turns out that there are nails for toes as well. I can't afford a pedicure and so I thought "what the heck, I'll give it a try." I have become the queen of multitasking. While sitting on the toilet, yes and with my pants down, I thought, "I think I'll do a quick repair." I took the glue and poured it on my large toe. Somehow it got in between my fingers and it was difficult to pull them apart. The focus became the situation with my two fingers. What I didn't realize was that the excess glue had run over my toe and on to the floor. When I went to move off the toilet, my big toe wouldn't move. It was stuck to the tile--and I mean stuck and it had had a chance to dry. No matter how hard I tried to lift my toe, it wouldn't budge. I couldn't go to the phone...I couldn't reach for help and it wouldn't be long until I was supposed to leave to pick up Noah.
Panic set in. I was in a predicament in which I could not see a possible out. Then I had strange visions of fireman breaking down the door to come rescue me from off the toilet. What would I say? How does one explain this? Then it dawned on me, the fireman would not even know a rescue was needed. My mind began racing for solutions. I remembered underneath the bathroom sink was fingernail polish remover. I stretched with all my might and was just barely able to grasp it. I saturated my toe and hoped that it would dissolve the glue. It wasn't happening. I couldn't imagine just yanking the toe until it was not stuck. Surely it would leave a layer of skin or even my toe on the bathroom floor for that matter. I saw a pair of scissors within reach. I took the blade of one side of the scissors and maneuvered it under my big toe. I literally shaved my toe from off the bathroom floor. It hurt something awful and took me a great deal of courage to continue to my freedom.
A few weeks later, my fingernail popped off. Again, I searched for the glue and did my repair. Noah wanted ketchup on his scrambled eggs. I grabbed the bottle and met his request. I accidentally got some ketchup on my finger. I licked the ketchup off my fingers, and let's just say, the glue wasnn't dry. I now had glue on my tongue and my lip. Talk about gluing my mouth shut. It was a crazy sensation and I wondered...when will I learn? Then again, it makes for a good laugh and I'm always in need of some laughter. Currently, there are no fake nails on my fingers or my toes...and for sure no "Super Glue" in my pocket.
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