Old Age

Noah was in the car with me and I could see from my rear view mirror, that he was deep in thought. A few minutes later and again in a somber voice, he says, "Mom, do you know what I really wish?" I think, "Here it goes--a game boy, a horse, a trip to Disneyland..."I say,"What do you wish, son?"and he said, "I just wish...well I wish dad could bend over."It was all I could do to contain my surprise and my laughter.   Rick is a wonderful father. He will throw baseball after baseball to Noah and he will take him golfing.  Rick has two hip replacements, sore knees, sore shoulders, sore everything--I'm sure Noah has seen how hard it is for Rick to bend over and collect the balls.

I am a Choirister in the Primary.We are talking about building Eternal Families. Sister Harris brings a picture of a "Grandma" to discuss how she is part of the family and can contribute in many ways. "What things does your Grandma do?"and there cute Camden says it direct and plain, "Grandma's have to color their hair." Well, I have been coloring my hair for a lottta years now--so does that put me in the "Old Category?"

So just when does one make that transition into "Old Agedom" (is it when you start making up your own words:) ) Is it when you iron shirts with windex instead of the spray starch? Is it when you cook the rolls with the saran wrap still covering them? Is it when the streaks in your hair are more silver than gold? Is it when you water your plants with a glass of milk instead of water? Is it when Noah's friend's parents, have parents younger than you? Is it when you qualify for the Senior Discount (or when someone asks you, will that be 2 seniors and 1 child?)  Is it when you lose more things than you find and some of those things are the rest of your sentences? Is it when the remote in your hand does not seem to "select" the item you are pushing on until it starts ringing and you realize, you are trying to use the phone to do the remote's job? Is it when you prefer Raisin Bran to Fruit Loops? Is it when  CNN becomes the new Prime Time TV show? Is it when you are tempted to cleanse your face with Downy Wrinkle Releaser instead of Sea Breeze? Is it when you do not recognize a single Name Brand of clothing, or any of the Popular Singing Groups? Is it when the students you taught, are now teachers?  Is it when you eat more Rolaids than M&M's? Is it when you start asking too many questions? If any of the previous are qualification for "Old Age," then I am definitely old.

For the sake of Noah and my own fears, I am going to color my hair and have blonde streaks put in and attribute the above to "Blondeom."

Now Just What the Heck Kind Of Color is That

Reason Number 2 to distance myself from laundry...

I thought I put in a batch of whites...

Yes, I know I did.

(My proof...these are our garments. I don't even know if you can wear this color in the temple.)

Now just what the HECK color is this?

Cream? No!

Ivory? No!

Pink? No!

Off White? No!

White? Heck NO!

Ugly? Yes!

What have I done?

What the Nail?

Rarely do I get complimented on things of beauty but there are two things as of recent that have drawn the attention and request of others. My nails and my curled hair. I had pretty much given up on having the glamorous nails. I had certainly struggled in the past with my attempts to maintain and wear fake nails. I had a student that came to school each day with lovely nails. Her mother had the talent and ability to do them and without cost to my student. It was nearing the Christmas Season and I envisioned the crimson red, perfectly polished nails. I found myself strolling down the cosmetic aisles looking at the numerous sets of fake nails and polishes. Something caught my eye..."imPRESS nails." I was curious about this unusual package. As I read the instructions, I discovered that superglue was not even needed. With these nails, there was a sticker that peeled off the back and then was placed upon my real nail. I couldn't get over how easy and how beautiful these nails of mine appeared. People started to comment. I immediately shared my great find with those inquiring. I also included a tip of my own...
TIP: carry the extra nails in your purse and in the event of an emergency...some nail glue to replace one that may happen to lift. This was my insurance policy. For the most part, they rarely came off until I took them off...but there were two occasions that NAIL mishap found it's way back into my life.

The first one I am quite embarrassed to share. I had a deviated septum which required surgery years ago. Since then, my sinus' have become oh so dry. My Ear Nose Throat Doctor told me to take a swab and but bacitiracin inside the nostril. I had run out of swabs so I dabbed a little on my finger and yes placed it up inside my nostril. I went about my day. Later on, I looked down to discover that one of my nails was missing. I retraced every step wanting to fix those nails and return to glamor. Still, nothing appeared. It wasn't long before I wondered at the possibility of it coming off inside my nose. Surely I would know about that. But what if I didn't know...what would happen? Would it go to my brain? Would it travel my blood veins and plunge to my heart. I began to panic. There was only one thing to do...BLOW!!! I grabbed a kleenex and with all my might blew the heck out of my nose. Sure enough, there was the missing nail as bright and pretty as ever.

Weeks had passed. The nails still looked great. I even received a few extra sets and colors from Santa Claus in my stocking. Noah was in desperate need of some winter wear. His snow pants barely covered his knees. Rick knew of a place on State street. The family piled in the car and off we went. I could not get over all the fun and unusual things that were there to keep the body warm. Handmade Sherpa Hats, Avalanche Kits, Neoprene Face Masks, Toe Warmers, Lip Care and the like. I was especially intrigued by some hats and some gloves. I must have tried on a dozen pair of the most wonderful soft, warm, cozy gloves. If I had had the need and the extra funds...I would have purchased a pair right then and there...but we were here for Noah. On the ride home, I glanced down and once again...a missing nail. It would have been all too easy with all the slipping on and off of the gloves for a nail to come off with it. PIT in my stomach...some poor soul like me is going to be intrigued and try on numerous gloves. Some poor soul is going to discover someone elses missing nail in the finger of one of those gloves. Some poor soul is going to freak out and maybe complain to the store. Oh dread...when will I learn?

Apparently not anytime soon. I am sporting a black set of shiny nails even as I type.