One of my all time favorite places for me to spend money is Target. Unfortunately, it is also one (of hundreds) of Noah's favored pastimes. I have reached the point where going to shop is no longer a joy. Noah promises and promises that he will just look. Those casual glances become toys of all prices reaching out with persuasive hands into this young boy's heart. From there it is either a dramatic scene or a guilt ridden mom that gives into his desires...further perpetuating the dilemma.
I was hoping to make a Target run after work, BUT BEFORE I had to pick up Noah from school. I was still dressed in business attire and my beautiful long black dress coat. There would be no time for a quick change. The time posted on my phone was minutes from when Noah would be dismissed.
Noah climbed into the car. I informed him of the few errands that had to be completed prior to returning home. As I pulled into the Target parking lot, my heart began racing, my thoughts dialoguing "what would he ask for today?" and "just say no...just say no."I decided to have a discussion with Noah about why we were at Target and the items we would be purchasing. "This is not a toy run." He appeared to be very mature and understanding about the matter. "Hmmm maybe I have not given him enough credit," I thought.
As we walked into the store, Noah informed me that he would be back by the toy aisle. He reassured me that he would be "just looking." I reminded him that we had come for specific items none of which were toys.
Sure enough I found Noah still gazing at the toys on the shelf and there was one big toy box in his hands. The look on his face told me that I was in big trouble. The pleading, the whining, began. "But mom, I did not know this was going to be here." "I want it so bad. If I don't get it I'll just die." I calmly and matter of factly stated what we had talked about in the car and headed for the cashier. Noah jumped in my path. I had NOT expected a move like that. I tried to step around him, but he would match my move. He continued to block me. This began to be rather annoying. The threats came..."then I am not leaving until you buy this for me." I had to stand firm in my resolve..."NO NO NO NO" The problem was that he had swift feet and I was unable to pass around Noah. Finally, I did one of those football fakes where you roll around and go the other direction and then like a mad woman sprinted for the front of the store. I hoped that there were no suspicious securtiy cameras viewing the whole of this situation. Part of me was finding the matter rather comical while the other part of me was alarmed at the fact that I had to run away from my son. I heard footsteps running behind. They seemed to be following with haste. My dear little sweet Noah was not going to let the woman in a long dark coat, make an escape.
All of the sudden, Noah lunged after me with all his might and strength. His hands grasped my shoulders and the momentum pulled me down. It was a total "face plant" a pure "take down." There was no grace or class. I was... nose dive to the cold tile floor and Noah on my back. I was in utter shock! Tearfully Noah exclaimed, "Oh mom, I didn't think you would fall." I was furious and humiliated, so much so that I could not think to get up. So there I stayed wondering what my next move would be. A woman walked by me and inquired, "Are you all right?" I am thinking, "that is one heck of a dumb question...my son just tackled me in the aisle of Target," but I responded with a firm "NO!" from the ground below.
Finally, I stood up and tried to gain some composure. Noah kept apologizing but I just couldn't even seem to acknowledge him. He didn't have to ask...he knew he WOULD NOT be purchasing anything today.
I do not know how long it was until I was able to laugh at the incident. I am sure that I made the other customers wince, then smile. It may have been the highlight of their day. I still go to Target and without a helmet and shoulder pads. Noah will still come to Target and want something while promising it will be the last time. The only difference now, is he invites two of his friends also wanting something. Some mothers drive around in a van with a bumper sticker that reads "SOCCER MOM." While mine on the other hand would read "SUCKER MOM."
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